Oh yes, weekends are the best but if you're a mom like me missing a daughter, you'd be a little more hurt and sore at those people who only think of you as a young irresponsible mother. tsk.tsk.

I am a bit irked with gilly ranting all the time. It's official that i am in dire need of driving lessons- and a mint condition car! He's always complaining about traffic and how tiring it is to drive back and fort every weekends. We don't do that anymore. My mom said I have and need to understand him bcoz it is tiring to drive that long {with SLEX under construction and all} so then I understand. Even if it means I wont get to see Uzuri on a regular basis, even if it means more unpleasant comments will come my way, and even if it means getting fed up of tolerating his lame life. I've done things more exhausting than driving, I've been through troubles more tiring than work. Howcome he complains like this? People around me, especially my mum, tells me to understand Gilly, that he's kawawa for so many reasons, kaya wag ko daw awayin. She tells me she's not siding with anyone in any way but the way i see it- she is. Gilbert is always the one who's "kawawa", eventhough I'm the one away from my daughter. They always think of me as someone selfish and self- centered, what they don't realize is that I've learned to stand on my own thus I've learned to rely on myself alone, I need to take care of myself coz nobody else will. Ako para sa sarili ko. That kind of thing. How is that selfish when I'm only doing what any adult should? They should be proud of me being this way but as it turns out, they're not. So yeah, Gilbert is kawawa when I get mad at him, it's only in good sense that I have the right to be mad because he'd done something that caused me to go berserk. *sigh* Ako yung masama kesho ako yung mattapang. Ako yung hindi marunong umintindi kesho ayoko mag- tolerate. Ako yung buhay- dalaga at masarap daw buhay ko kasi wala sakin anak ko... fuck.

I miss my baby, only I don't wanna cry everytime. I guess in order for people to believe you are hurt, they should see you sob.. How stupid.