when your spy-ware is crappy expect that your computer will be swamped with uninvited guests, viruses that will eventually wear your computer's system and destroy your files. Whether you like it or not, you're gonna have to debug it, bring it to a technician, or resort to reformat..

my life is full of viruses and unwanted pop-up' s, but what really bugs me is the fact that they can either put an inviting facade and get on with their lives while slandering you in safe mode or attack you via emotional blackmail.

yes, it is in cowardice that they try to hide their real issues when they thought they could divert unwanted attention to someone else whom they've been pin-pointing their hard lucks to all along. we all have our shares of b*tching, fu*king up, screwing up, and whatnot, but what slanderers don't know is that they're just trying to segue in other's mishaps just so they can blame their personal issues to someone else. then if they finally convince others- they gloat. they think they've won, they think they're right and they made a point. but truth is, that's just what they want themselves to believe. honey, you're in no position to do what you're doing. it's sad how you are. I pity YOU.

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it's funny, there are actually people who think they know better. it's like lecturing a doctor about a heart transplant when you haven't even started college. In life we have to admit that we don't know things all too well, especially if we haven't even gone through it yet, or we haven't experienced something yet. It's foolish and obnoxious for even the thought of it to exist. i am embarrassed for those kinds of people. i really am. but on the other hand, it's just sad they exist.

Labels: bitch, fools, mishaps, slanders, virus

it' so fucking frustrating!

it's official. I can't leave my baby/ Not even with my mom. Don't get me wrong, i trust her much. It's just that she has too much on her plate right now, i don't think she'd be able to handle uzuri. Even if i'm waiting for the nanny to arrive, there's no way i'll leave my baby alone with someone i don't know.

Yes, i just signed a contract with Telus (now, i'm revealing the company name), and no matter how fresh the ink of my signature is (i bet if you pressed your finger on it the ink would smudge or rub- off on you) i have to file my resignation. I already called my trainor about it, she advised me to send a resignation letter to the HR as it goes that way. So, why the sudden decision? I wasn't able to come in last night, seems like a bloodbath is about to happen here at home so even if i'm allowed to have one absence doesn't mean i'm good to go.

Last night though, before i started my "desperate housewives" marathon, i realized i already have a job. Well, it's not just some job, it's a career! A lifetime career with no monetary compensation, only heart- warming fulfillment. With everyone busy manning the kubo store my mom bought, nobody's gonna be able to take care of my baby as well as i can. Nobody can really replace a mother's touch. Not even somebody else's mother.

Of course, the time will come when I have to opt for sacrifice. It's not practical if only one parent works to provide. We have so much to save for, we can't live like this forever. As much as some people would hate it, and probably won't understand in a million years, we're gonna have to move out and move in together in our own HOME.

SOON.

jealous is the heart of what once was precious
chemical reactions fabricate the mind
lush lips..

symmetry of nothingness
there's none at all.
inexistent
faux pax flies to see
visions of a nobody.

unkind word.
slanders heard.
an unseen depiction.
androgeny.

atrocity.
your pseudonym.
consternation.
your life.
bow to the groves
burn the bars.

praise the queens!

ban the stars!

to know no parameters

to see what is not there

secrecy of the famed

conspiracy of the shamed

little prince
lost in the sahara
cover your eyes
face no guilt

come back to your mothership.

slit the wrist of innocence
char the whims of frenzied nips
succumb to the highest.
own your chartered seas.

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*unicorns and mystics*

human eyes foresee duds.

human eyes don't see.

unicorns and mystical beings

hobbits don't exist.

yet they seize to harm.

they start battles unwon.

bloodbath of the young.

infatuated fairy

sings to the noble beast

yearning yet so dreary

it's the seas of neptune's fleet.

flying to the night sky

the earth so humbled plea

sparkle yet so sparkling

dust all over me.

a melancholy farewell

seen not once in a summer's skies

but lives within a maiden's heart

in weary dreamy lies.

dreaming vague yet clearly

the mumbling of a tree.

of unicorns and me...

taken away by magic

my unicorn and me.

No, this is not about verbal inventiveness inspired by Lewis Carroll's jabberwocky, this is about a new job I'm in. It's not actually new since I've worked there but in a different site and under a different account. I'm not going to divulge the company name, however, I'm a bit worried that it's going to be intoxicating (it's a call center to clue you in). I just signed the contract yesterday (jan. 17th) the pay is still the same but the referral commission was raised to a whopping 6k and I asked Rome (a friend who works there) to split the commission with me. haha I'm just really excited about it, well not so much. I'm crossing my fingers that it wouldn't be that stressful. Customer service is always tiring for the complaints are endless. Face it people, not one system is perfect, deal with it!

So far, I feel freed from something. It's liberating. I feel like myself again, with a job and all. I'm just not used to depending on other people for my needs. I'm just giddy about being able to earn on my own again and this time and save. It's time to apply what I've learned from francisco Colayco's book (Wealth within your reach!). hehe Now that I have a daughter, they'll deduct less tax. yey!

I am sorry for a lot of things. I am only human. Flesh and blood, i make mistakes..hehe (isn't that a song? uh-huh)

888888888888888888888888888888888888888

i missed hanging out with zoraya. it was really fun coz i got to meet new friends whom i can relate to more. April morning skies was there, of course, if chicosci is playing, expect they'd be there too. Rome was there too, i missed that gothic- lookin' chick hehe Surprise surprise! Ian was there too, he helped me look for meds (antacids) becoz i had the worst hyperacidity attack to date! it was stupid of me to forget my dinner..tsk.tsk. I just found out he leads the vox for maple syrup. hmm good for him. he asked me if i was happy.. without pauses, i said "yes!".. adverse reaction. it was sincere.. Then i remembered my tummy with its monster pain, and i never even paid attention to what was goin on. A few minutes back, we were still inside the air-conditioned part of the bar when a guy put his arms on my shoulder and i thought it was rai nudging me, apparently it wasn't her coz she asked me if i knew the guy who did. Yes, a guy! A semi- kalbo feeler. Twasn't long til he came back and decided to stare at our direction. Rai whispered to warn me that the maniac was right behind/ beside us and asked me if i wanted to go out. Without a hint of hesitation, i stood up and got out. Rai & i had to split so the next thing i knew she walked of the bar again and told me that the maniac was rubbing his knee on her leg. Jec (rai's boyfriend) got a bit carried away by the insult and hurried inside to make the maniac pay but we called out to everyone we knew to stop the racket. So while chicosci (i think) was playing we had our own riot outside. Poor maniac was high, i'm not exactly sure what he's on but he really irked us all. hayun. sorry-ng- sorry ang gago... After the confrontation i was back to the pit of my own agony. Hyperacidity. I abhore you. haha

Today marks the death of enthusiasts who surged through the crowd and fought a stampede battle only to have their towels/ hankies wiped on the icon- The Black Nazarene. Many believe the life-sized wooden statue, brought by Spanish missionaries from Mexico in 1606, holds mystical powers that can cure illnesses or wash away sins. The ship caught fire and the image was burned but survived as a testament to a unique brand of Catholicism that combines folk superstitions in Asia's most populous Christian nation.

Devotees die for what they believe in. People need something to believe in, otherwise we'll all be w/o a backbone. They come every year with prayers, hopes, and faith not just in God alone but with the vague truth of miracles at hand. There are those who come with their own godliness. Claiming they can cure or heal like Jesus Christ, with their followers in maroon or with their own uniforms trailing along.

Policemen and several ambulances were on standby to ensure the safety of the devotees. Around 12:30 p.m., the Black Nazarene was brought out of the church for the parade. Thus, the waves of human flesh began rushing towards the image.

I never joined the procession, but i know i can try and be a good catholic without pushing myself (literally) into a dangerous swarm.

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in other kerengkeng news..

i miss crush ahehehehe icebreaker to sa seriousness ng nasa taas. haha Pero syempre mas miss ko si penguin.. boohoohoo ;(

i c-a-n'-t blog about "IT". But i reeaaally have to let this out. Let "IT" out..


Last 2006 (i think), my bestfriend' s sister read my fate thru tarot cards. I'm a skeptic, but i am open for endless possibilities as the world is known to offer this kind of thing. She told me that someday I'll be bothered by someone (meaning; okay, however you take it nalang. i wont say the manner). I asked about clues like- "what does he look like?" or "when will this happen?", all she said was that the guy is dark- skinned or more like moreno. Years went by as i unintentionally forgot about the fortune telling thing and now i think it's somehow beginning to mock a satire version of it. I'm just weirded out and confused with his actions lately. He seems interested. I know, i sound like a conceited b*tch but i'm just wondering why all this time, all of a sudden, he acts this way? Am i trying to play safe too much? i have to! haha I don't want to ruin a major deal, a budding friendship or somebody else's... hmm I guess I'll just be hanging w/o answers.. ergh

My current situation is complicated, but as my friends know, i contort when & where i need to. I face challenges as i should, I have fun coz i deserve to.. But above all, i consider myself lucky. i know people (friends) who've been to hell and back or are having trips to hell every now and then, and comes back to redeem themselves after they share their escapades and travails. Heavier loads people... Heavier loads.. They exist beyond our own hells.. Just look on the silver lining of them dark clouds. (or read other cliches that more often than never, works!)

Negativity tends to rub- off on everybody but it's up to the person if he/ she will let the outside forces in.. in other words- kung dika kasali wag kang umepal..

Lahat ng taong kilala ko alam na hindi dapat pinapakialaman ang away- mag- asawa. Kahit nga away ng mga mag-syota back- off ang barkada eh, dba? Pero sa tanang buhay ko, ngayon lang ako nakaranas ng ganun.. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Atleast may natitira paring mga marurunong makiramdam. Mahirap kasi kapag maraming immature or irrational na tao ang nakapaligid syo. Hindi nakakatuwa. Pero sabi nga- Magparaya ang mas nakakaintindi.. or as someone said;

Labels: fools, grandiosity, lamesa ecopark, wise

Seriously. I am crushing on someone. He's close but not too close. He's a friend but he's not actually MY friend. It's not cheating coz i'm not involved with him or anything so it's nothing. We talked for an hour (i think). Daldal nya grabe hehe wala lang nakakatuwa lang. Casual na usap lang hindi landian (mind you). I'm gonna see if i can refer him to someone i know. hehe Ewan bakit ko sya crush. Siguro may bahid kasi sya ng pagka- bad boy, i used to be a sucker for bad boys kase. ehehehe

Uzuri and i celebrated our new year here at penguin's parent's house. It's fun kasi it's our first new year together and we welcomed year 2008 with a baby of our own. My new year usually consists of grandiose fireworks and ginormous displays of lights, but this time my new year skies were filled of other's expensive fireworks. I'm not a big fan of firecrackers, i hate the scary, booming sound of it reverberating all over the place. It's as loud as it is dangerous not just to the phalanges of the pyromaniacs but also to the lungs of other people. Because yes, it produces smoke and malodorous fumes which are irritating and hazardous to our health. Imagine, people all over the country are lighting these babies and inhaling (unintentionally) the smoke after the miraculous escape from being blasted on possibly every part of their body. Even the papers speak about the firecrackers frenzy and how Pinoys are so drawn to it. So what's the deal with people flocking on gun powder- filled paper which, mind you, are not guaranteed safe though they have wicks of flares? It's not New Year without it. As i said, i'm no fan of blasters but heck it's part of the holidays. Just be safe.

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THANK YOU'S:

sa mga nagpapasko kahit matanda nako
sa mga nagpapasko sa baby ko
sa mga nagluto ng chibog nung christmas
sa mga nagluto ng chibog nung new year
sa turkey na once a year ko lang matikman
sa kalabasa flan na malinamnam
sa halayang halo ni gilbert
sa ham na inuubos hanggang ngayon
sa mga pumunta kagabi
sa mga nagplanong makipagkita (matutuloy pa ba?)
sa mga nagtext para bumati ng nmerry christmas at happy new year
sa mga nagma- mass text messaging kahit na hindi naka- unlimited
sa lahat!

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My friends are planning a get- together after the holiday buzz but i don't know if i'm gonna come. hehe Nagtampo daw ba? Oo nakakatampo parin kaya bahala silang magplano. Siguro pupunta ako pag tuloy na atleast hindi ako mang- i- injan! oh well, aabangan ko nalang. May utang silang regalo sa anak ko! hmpf!