if only people can see the realness of what they are, how cruel they act and how righteous they can be. if only they are wary of their actions and treatment of others. if only they can see that they are whom they hate. if only they are vigilant of other's feelings and are considerate of their fellowmen's existence. *sigh Then, there could possibly be peace..

i post as a sentry to those who are like me. we go unnoticed but we don't hunger for attention (though some fools believe otherwise), we are the wariest. we don't claim that we're perfect, for not a single human being is but we feast on the fact that we are awake.

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I hold grudge as i am not perfect but i am capable of letting go of what ires me or annoys the tips of my nerves. Hence, this blog was born. hehe I was telling wilson & gelo how i am indignated by those who think they are superior when they get a hold of a little pleasure in life. I'm talking about those who act foolish when they a new ipod nano, laptop or desktop, gadgets and the likes. Honestly, i am not a materialist but i enjoy thing-a-majigs every now & then. Nakakatuwa eh. But as i have keenly observed, there are those, how you say, "feeling!" whom are just too much to bare. First, they act as if they've owned thethingamajig for so long & try to act non- chalant about it. Second, they flaunt it too much they tend to look like assholes. Third, they try to act as if it's ok to lend it. Fourth, they get easily infuriated when it's not back in their hands the moment they demand for it to be returned. Lastly, (i wish) they wont admit the mentioned above.

Are you one of them?

Then learn.. or burn in hell.

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Nakakapagsalita ako ng ganito dahil sa bawat paggising ko dumadaan ako sa isang proseso na tinatawag na "reality check". Kung talagang gusto mong maging mas mabuting tao (hindi yung nagmamalinis o nagmamabuti lang) gagawin mo lahat at sisikapin mong sa bawat kilos at pananalita mo, ikaw ay totoo. Higit sa lahat makatao. Hindi kailangan maging perpekto at kahit kailan walang sinuman ang magiging perpekto, ngunit mas mainam ang pagiging natural sa lahat ng bagay lalo na sa pagtrato sa kapwa. Sugpuin and favoritism, ignorance, egotism, etc.

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bookera:

nabasa ko na mga libro ni bob ong, jessica zafra, etc. ano pa kayang maganda at profound na libro?

i have a dvd of spring waltz w/c i bought last year. na- curious kasi ako kung ano meron sa koreanovelas.. in short, chumismis ako hehe. anyway, sabi ng vendor maganda daw yun. Syempre kahit ako ang vendor kahit di ko pa napapanuod sasabihin kong maganda yun. hehe so ayun nga binili ko sa st. francis square..hehe quiet lang kay edu.. pero i swear yun lang binili kong fake na dvd, the rest downloads or hiram (defensive? hehe). I remember franz testifying how good it was. Naiyak daw sya nung huli to think she's close to being non- reactive. hahaha Ngayon nasa ABS- CBN na ang Spring Waltz. Kung ayaw mo ng tagalized version heto puntahan mo --> MySoJu. It has complete episodes and you can choose from korean, japanese, taiwanese, etc.

Krismas kamalasan's update:
yes, may nadagdag nga as expected. pumalpak ang cheesecake ko. Malambot sya at hindi nag- set. i followed the usual recipe. i can't figure out where i went wrong coz the recipe is tested already. Masarap parin sya pero hindi sya tumigas. errgh!!! Pero in fairness nakadaan pa si franz dito sa bahay para i- abot ang gift ni sofia. Pero sina CIndy, ano pa nga ba?

tomorrow is our clan's christmas party. we have it every year and christmas wont be christmas w/o it. I'm sad coz gilbert can't come. It's hard when he's not around, aside from the fact that i miss him mahirap magdala ng baby mag- isa. Mahirap magbuhat ng mga gamit habang buhat mo rin ang anak mo. haaaay i'm not mad at him. hindi naman niya fault na hindi sya makaalis from Bataan. talk about series of unfortunate events.. I used to read the books (by lemony snicket) but now it's like i'm living my own SUE. hrrmmn.

Labels: friends?, koreanovelas, krismas kamalan's

as if my christmas can't get any more fcked up...

i only have my 2 bestfriends left to count on to make my christmas "merry", but guess what? They can't make it. Franz said she has a sudden tummy ache and she has to go to makati med., while cindy (together w/ her hubby jeff and babies reeve and sean)-- well, i doubt they'd be able to come!

so it's official. My christmas is not merry. Not at all!

so far here are my christmas kamalasan's;

* wasn't able to cook noche buena due to some simangot-ation
* penguin broke his super bad news (worste news actually) that he wont be able to come with at our clan's christmas party (w/c is a big deal bcoz it's our first christmas w/ o papa)
* absence of my bestfriends & inaanak's
* ever so postponed (better yet, cancelled) "barkada reunion"
* cut myself w/ a knife by accident
* unprecedented sleep


Here goes my krismas kamalasan's (I have this feeling that there'll be additions to the list.. hmmmn).

You can share yours if you have them too. hehe

heto na naman ang bagong siglo. paparating na muli ang isa pang batch ng 365 araw ng pagasa. bagong taon. bagong pagkakataon. uso na naman ang "new year's resolution/ s" (na natutupad naman kaya?), mga bilugang mga bagay (tulad ng polka dots at ang bagong implants ni controversial sexy star), i-a- apply muli ang mga natutunang feng shui para sa pag- asam na lalapit o kakapit ang swerte ngayong dadating na 2008, at syempre, mawawala ba talaga ang mga paputok, legal o ilegal?

Ngayong dadating na taon, madaling sabihin kung ano ang mga dapat baguhin, ngunit alin kaya sa mga ito ang sa wakas ay mababago na? Sabi nga, ang pagbabago ay naguumpisa sarili. Ngunit ayon sa mga naging karanasan ko sa buhay, ang pagbabago ng sarili o sa sarili ay hindi garantiyang magbabago din ang mga tao sa paligid mo. Dahil kung talagang matigas sila (o alipin ng pride) eh wala na sayo ang bastardong problema.

Totoong hindi lang tuwing sasapit na ang bagong taon ay duon lamang natin maaalala ang mga dapat baguhin. Sa sarili kong opinyon, hindi na nagma- matter ang new year's resolution kung hindi mo rin naman malalagyan ng check ang mga nakalista dito. Ang pagsusulat ng isang bagay sa papel ay nakakatulong sa pagtutuloy o pagpapatotoo ng mga gusto mong gawin, bilhin o baguhin. Ang mga goals ay naisasakatuparan at ang mga tagumpay ay nakakamit. Pero ang pagsusulat ay step 1 pa lamang dahil ang step 2 ay ang pisikal na aspeto nito.

kailangan ko ang inyong suporta. hehe :)

i discovered these funnies today.. check them out. :)

hmmm

andaming nakakamiss gawin.. hindi ko namimiss ang mga yun dahil may anak nako.. namimiss ko ang mga yun dahil hindi ko nalang talaga sila nagagawa.

tulad ng:

♥ biglaang lakad
♥ kakaibang food trip
♥ diverse na trip
♥ emo- han kung san
♥ poetry writing
♥ magpacute
♥ mga taong may maraming oras {a.k.a bum/s}
♥ star gazing
♥ night life
♥ makalibre ng ganj. hehe joke (nga ba?)

marami talaga. kahit mga hate- days ko nung hiskul nakakamiss. wala seryoso na buhay ko. feeling ko kasi required. siguro nag- cave in narin ako sa conformity. pero hindi naman extreme ito. so far i can say din na hindi rin harmful. kunsabagay, ang pagiging unique ay hindi nababase sa pagsasabi nito ng paulit- ulit. nasa pagiging totoo sa sarili at nasa pag- tanggap ito ng mga isyu at imperfections ng isang tao. ang pagiging non- conformist ay contradicting rin tutuusin lalo na kung di mo gaano kakilala ang iyong sarili, dahil maraming nag-c- claim na non- conformist sila, ngunit ginagawa, sinasabi at iniisip naman nila ang mga ginagawa, mga sinasabi at mga iniisip ng iba. basta ikaw ay ikaw. solb na. be yourself! walang mali o masama kung may mga bagay kang aayusin o babaguhin sa sarili mo lalo na kung ikagaganda ito ng buhay mo o ng pakikisama mo sa iba. realization lamang ito. hindi suggestion. :)

hmmm confusing parin... basta ang importante nga pala hindi ako yung plastik. yeah!! hehe

sa wakas nagawa na ang computer. it's hard pag wala to hehe

time to rant!

the day is tiring. it felt so long, i haven't finished burrowing through the newpaper's pages. i've been scouting for accessories/ jewelry designs. i have my own na actually but it's not that easy to put it together since i lack the budget. oh well, magkakaron din ako nun. it's a good omen na maraming nagv-view ng site ko (http://sugarrocket.multiply.com) though i haven't really uploaded my stuff. visit it guys okay :)

i wrapped the christmas gifts na yesterday. i love wrapping presents! it's therapeutic. hmmmn it's sad coz i wont be able to give gifts the way i used to. mga inaanak's ko nalang ang mabibigyan ko this year. malamang i'm gonna need to sponge- off other people muna.. aargh this sucks. tama na. ayoko na isipin masyado. ayoko na i- anticipate ang pagka- gloomy ng thought na yun.

ahahay.

someone from DAYS HOTEL (batangas) called my mom up to inform her that she's entitled to a free accomodation for 2 days & 2 nights. kasama ang spa dun and we are loving the thought provided hindi scam yun or what. the person said that someone enlisted my dad's name on a referral slip or what and there was a raffle that took place and my dad's name was drawn. iniisip namen baka may promotion or what. yun tipong pag nag- stay ka dun eh may seminar ka na kailangan attenan (you need to attend to). hehe tomorrow ang confirmation if it's the real deal. syempre kailangan na mag- ingat. sana totoo. kase i need the break. i need a round of R & R.. since wala na si papa pwede daw i- arrange yun para iba ang makagamit. 2 adults & 2 kids daw ang kasama. sana pwedeng 4 adults nalang para si mama, ako, si gilbert & si don2 makasama.. hmmm

yehey din for my new skin. yehey! ang kyut.. i like... very me.. hehe

i did everything there is to do around the house. i'm still bored. but so are the dustmites with nothing to pester now. haha

cindy and i are planning to host a garage sale/ ukay. i sorted out my stuff to sell. i need to get rid of clutter and turn them into money. if i were to sell all i would accumulate about 1k yeee! will do it this week. :)

nga pala, i loved the food at TEMPURA along retiro. we ate there yesterday it's a cheaper version of teriyaki boy. they have innovative dishes. i especially loved the catterpillar maki roll. it's filled with cream cheese, crabstick and mango, and cooked tuna, rolled inside sticky rice with a helping of sesame seeds. yum!!! we pigged out on mixed maki, mixed sushi and mixed sashimi too. i've been craving for sashimi for 2 weeks then so i just have to beg for it. hehe sarap talaga..solb!

i need to have my ribs checked. on the right side of my rib cage, below the solar plexus, i felt a lump so weird i get paranoid everytime i remember i have it. ooh..what's happening to me? errgh.

until sunday.. it never really came. but then again he was able to come last saturday night and we got up sunday morning (the earliest by the way). he had to go to work kase required daw. i have no problems with his work naman, kaso i just need to know that he's doing whatever he can for our plans to push- through. i'm hoping for better days. it will come, i know. salamat naman at nakakita ako ng effort. i'd rather have him check out other girls than leave me hanging w/ nothing. for me kc, kung publing ang guy alam ko na ang move na gagawen coz i've been there, i've had (not naman a series but) some experiences regarding cheaters. so in short na-master ko na ang trick. kasi pagdating sa lack of effort eh naku, medyo novice ako dahil complicated talaga pag walang effort. you're not the one who's gonna move for the person. kusa nga kase and mahirap magsalta or mag- suggest coz then it'd seem like you're dictating him. pero you can't leave him clueless coz hindi nga naman sila manghuhula to know what you have in mind. at syempre, hirap na nga sila intindihan ang takbo ng isip ng babae papahulain mo pa, dba? hehe

i want to go shopping.. for gifts and for personal things.. his time i can't.. not because i have a baby now, but because i don't have moolah for it. yes, there's a big diff. *sigh

as it turns out he's still on the verge of trying to work on "us". siyempre, what more can i do but cave in? i really can't leave him, coz i simply can't live w/o him. BASTARD. haha

i'm dying to go to that el pueblo concert, i thought i'm gonna be able to go this time since i went AWOL last year, but oh well, there are more important things than that concert. besides there'll be other concerts to go to.. and yes, as risky as it is for me, i'm still gonna crash at april morning skies' gigs. i'm beginning to fall for their music plus ambait nila. well actually si tim and kenneth lang ang nakilala ko talaga, tanguan lang sina andrew eh. i doubt they could still remember me. si tim siguro pwede pa. he's the one with the long dreads and glasses. hehe we went to his house after the mayric's thing, the one which chicosci produced. ayun naglaro lang kame ng cards with scott na crush na crush nuon si rome. hehe ok i need to stop talking now.. hehe kase sikreeet... hehehe

we'll have the whole sunday all to ourselves. sana masulit na talaga namen un coz it's the only one we've got & we'll have so far. we weren't together na nga last 28th, eh 3 years pa naman kame nun. it's just a big thing for me. i guess sakanya rin, mas obvious lang talaga sakin. hehe let's see what'll happen on sunday. i miss him. that's that.

i hate stupid chances

i hate how he treats me.. kahit sabihin ko ng paulit- ulit na di nako masaya parang walang epekto sakanya.. kahit sabihin kong depressed nako wala paring impact.. sasabihin nya di daw nya alam pano ako i-comfort.sasabihin ko kung pano. pero wala parin syang gagawin. sabay babanatan ako ng hirit; "bakit kasi hinsi mo subukang magpakamanhid minsan?" TAMA BA UN!!!???

ilang beses ko na tinangkang iwan sya at swerte ako dahil may handang sumalo sakin. ngayong may anak na kame, hindi ko na kayang pumili ng iba. hindi ko na kayang magmahal ng iba tulad ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya.. gusto ko nalang sumaya. kahit magisa. kung sabagay, matagal ko na ramdam na mag-isa lang ako. pero kahit ilang ulit ko parin sabihin sakanya to, (ano pa nga ba?) - bailiwala parin..

the weirdest most ironic part?? mahal daw niya ko! woooh! gano kalabo? meron palng ganun kalabong bagay..