? Friday, September 28, 2007
there are many ways to let go of any friggin emotion.. you get to choose the outlet.
"i bought balloons of different colors, each representing a burden which i've been feeding negative thoughts of for eons.. manong asked away; "san mo gagamitin mga yan? sa bertdey parrti?" and i retorted; "oo manong, sa birtdey.." for a fresh start, i was thinking. there were still traces and stains of grime which are stubbornly eager to stay. but i wont let a single debris remain. in the middle of up, i let go of those balloons, i let the course of the wind decide which direction they go the important thing is they stray away from me and
stay away from me.."
like how we choose happiness...
in every sense of it.. i did it.. :)
so goodbye balloons of all kinds..
0 lurVes..
? me
9/28/2007
0 lurVes..
? me
9/20/2007
? Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The Bottom Line
Your flirty side may not feel like coming out today, but others are flirting away!
In Detail
The flirty side of you may not feel like coming out in full force today, but that won't stop people from tossing some sweet talk your way! And by the middle of the day, when you're wondering what the heck has gotten in to people, you yourself might start to feel like giving a cute stranger a smile or starting some small talk with an interesting looking person. The positive attention that other people will be giving you will be just the ticket you needed to get a new attitude going.
haha so not like me..cguro if i'm not attached & not a mom yet it's possible.. sometimes flirting is a form of energy- booster or a cure for self-esteem issues and at times, it's just fun! hehe
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i'm really psyched about how things are going. so far everything's falling into places. i hope it stays that way for everybody's sake, especially uzuri. gilly is getting an A for his "becoming" course hehe
we're going back home tonight (yesh!) i miss my family and they miss sofie too, haha ako hindi!! oh well, they're excited to see the newly-baptized popie. i'm sure bea misses us too, i know i miss her, bayatot! ahehe i wet maita's pillow last night, i miss papa. it's just sad he wasn't able to make it physically. i'm sure he's responsible for making things go smoothly. we're gonna see you soon papa, sa mauseleum, i mean. i'm sure matutuwa silang lahat coz sofie's getting the hang of coo-ing so long, at ang mga expressions at response nia sa kumakausap sa kanya is just amazing. sabi ng pedia she's advanced nga. hehe i hope maaga xa magsalita. para macompensate din ang pagkawala ni papa. *sigh*
0 lurVes..
? me
9/19/2007
? Monday, September 17, 2007
My Lakbayan grade is D!
~ oh well, i'm still young, and about the money part? we'll do something about it! nyaha
My Lakbayan grade is D!
How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!
Created by Eugene Villar.
0 lurVes..
? me
9/17/2007
? Thursday, September 13, 2007
what the f**k?? it's funny..hehehe i'm sure lots of paris hilton haters would love this one. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hmm.. here i go with the love talk..so my penguin and i were playing doodle at ym, and there were only 3 moves left. only, he can't see them so he declared a surrender right away..
dOnzxky: kaw na
dOnzxky: go may chance kpa to redeem urself
BUZZ!!!
mahal ko: talo nako bebe eh...
dOnzxky: hnd pa!!
dOnzxky: cge mghanap ka pa po.
dOnzxky: hnd pa masasaid yan after mo tumira
dOnzxky: bkt un?ako makakascore nian ..niwei...
dOnzxky: kaw na
dOnzxky: 
dOnzxky: bored knb?
mahal ko: talo na kasi ako bebe eh
dOnzxky: hnd nga
mahal ko: pinaglalaruan mo nalang ako...
dOnzxky: i wont let u win pero dnt give up..
dOnzxky: 
dOnzxky: parng relationshp ntn...i wont giv u all d answers pero dnt stop trying..
BUZZ!!!
mahal ko: wala na beb hindi ko maisap papano manalo
mahal ko: sakit na ng ulo ko sa kakaisip
mahal ko: sorry
mahal ko: masyado na ata akong bobo lately
mahal ko: 
mahal ko: seriously
mahal ko: ....
dOnzxky: hindeeh ano kb..
dOnzxky: eto nlng..luk on the left syd..
mahal ko: kahit sa pagaayos ng poblma natin dko na maisip minsan
dOnzxky: luk on the left syd..
mahal ko: i know
mahal ko: pag tumira ako dun ganun din
mahal ko: parang tumitira ako para manalo ka
mahal ko: mukhang kakain na kami
mahal ko: hmmm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
much like our relationship.. *
sigh* never, ever give up!
i love you, you know..
1 lurVes..
? me
9/13/2007
? Wednesday, September 12, 2007
*You have been dealing with a lot of issues in and around your home so effectively that today it looks like things are totally under control and capable of doing just fine without you. So it's time to shift your focus away from family and toward a partnership in another context of your life. It could be a coworker, a friend, or a romantic interest, but someone else needs your attention today. So keep your eyes and ears open. They'll let you know when they want to talk.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
naks that's what yoo call "bull's eye!" nyehe
well then, i'm all ears.. ;) XOXO
0 lurVes..
? me
9/12/2007
?
so walang princess sara today para mag-make way sa pagbroadcast ng plunder case ni erap. matraffic nga daw according to gilbert wala xa masakyan papnta work.. lintik naman oh. sa totoo lang mas may matututunan pko sa princess sara kesa dun. tulad ng kagandahan ng loob, kabutihang asal, pagpapakumbaba, pagiging matapat..hehe and so on.. [xmpre joke lang yan, ung part na walang matututunan sa plunder case ni erap hehe, pero ung kay istorya ni sara at ang paglilitis sa kanya walang kasing- halaga nun!hehe ulet.]
~mag-english naman tyo~
i ransacked my old friendster blog [which the worst blog so far] only to find precious entries that made me contemplate on lots of things. my old self had more life, more spirit and greater grasp of what it wants. i guess looking at other's lives consumed me, plus aggravated emotions [which i thought were buried more than 6 feet under] emerged from the earth of unconsciousness walking like flesh- eating zombies {and by "flesh" i mean my live being}. they were out to get me.
i remember a friend who has a knack for writing. i also remember that we write what we know. we write based on our experiences in life.. her life consists of lots of drama. drama from when she was still a kid, abandoned by her parents, (i'm not going to elaborate any further for i want to conceal her identity)etc.. so she goes about her normal life living every second of it the most extraordinary way she knows how.. how, you say? by OVERANALYZING everything. i don't know but it works for her. she's well on her way on becoming the next jessica zafra. ;)
i remember how i used to write short stories, poems or bland comments on shit that bothers me. i used to hide away from all the nazis of endless interventions of hipocrites and witches i met in life. sadly, some of them are within the same bloodline. i had 2 escape hatches, both are free spirits (or whatever they claim themselves to be). they were the light barers. they slay those who hovers the blue skies and wring the dark clouds to flood my dreams in my sleep.
now, i have no idea where they strayed. all i know is, they took my other self. they knew they had to. i am now the mortal that i should be and they are the geese that fly against all the other geese. they go north while the rest go south. it's one of the reasons why the mob, crowd , herd, or flock miscontrue their idea of freedom, our idea of freedom! we're not trying to bump into you. we just need to go somewhere where lemmings are far from sight. or we can watch them drown too. you are the ones who hurt yourselves with delusions of pain and prosecution. not us. not us.
___________________________________________
i'll be reposting old blog entries from friendster. watch out for it!
0 lurVes..
? me
9/12/2007
? Tuesday, September 11, 2007
when boredom eats you away..
eto pah..
at eto pa..
haha
aus lang, dahil sabi ni gelo.... embassy kame! free tickets!!wahoo..
********************************
waw.andaming excited sa binyag..hehe isa nako duon!!
un lang! almost forgot..dinner muna ako..hehe
0 lurVes..
? me
9/11/2007
? Saturday, September 08, 2007
CANCER - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser.
One of a kind. Loves being In long-
term relationships. Extremely
energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed
your expectations. Especially with
your mom. Not a Fighter, but will
Knock your lights out.
haha. there's a bit of truth in this horoscope. the highlighted ones, i mean. haha
may family gathering na naman tomorrow at my lola's house. it's always the same thing everytime but i guess it's better than not having reunions at all. there's tons to celebrate; my dad's two-month death anniversary, my sister's despedida (yey), and birthdays. same people, same routine, what the hell, good food naman eh.hehe
i've been under stress lately, it's hard when you're the only one who has the ability to adhere to the inevitability of change when it comes to certain things. sometimes i'm too eager to adjust i'm already sacrificing too much of myself. oh well, no wasted tears here. it will pay off soon enough. ;)
facial lang katapat niyan!!! hehe
1 lurVes..
? me
9/08/2007
? Thursday, September 06, 2007
"i swear i'm going psycho here.."
i got my feet all prepped up for a scavenger hunt yesterday. i missed the chaotic world of divisoria. the whole
effing polluted place. grabe wrong move sobra ung pagchichinelas ko.haha i got everything i need na. got my clothes and sofia's too, especially the giveaways. grabe, long walk talaga xa. from cluster bldg i walked 3 blocks pa to get to tabora street where you can scout for souveinirs. i got a good deal. on the spot gnwa nila all 50pcs of it. halos pare-pareho nalang mga designs eh. usually nagamit na ng cousins ko for binyag or wedding hehe. oh well, important thing is i checked it off my check list na.hehe may sense of achievement na kahit papano. harhar it's not that grueling to wait. nakapahinga ako atleast. nabutas pa kilikili part ng damit ko kakataas ng kamay para mapunasan tagatak kong pawis haha!
i wish everything would turn out right. and im wishing (so hard) that people will stay on their places and not interfere too much. coz bottomline this is still our daughter's christening. nobody has the right to buy privilege. it eliminates the newly established respect all the more. respect to every person involved. all we really need is moral support not financial or material. essentials. our intentions are more on standing up or facing the pangs of reality on our own two feet, we're NOT claiming anything foolish. we're just actually trying to digest any form of feedbacks, positive or negative, may it be a scheme to manipulate our lives or attempt for more mature decisions. though we deserve to be backed up by people who see our efforts, we get none whatsoever. it's a fact of life we have to accept. we still have choices though. one is to suffer just right the other is to suffer too much (which is so unnecessary)..
tao kame, not kids anymore (but not self- proclaimed grown ups) and definitely NOT wind-up toys..
0 lurVes..
? me
9/06/2007
? Tuesday, September 04, 2007
i'm a bit anxious about my baby's christening. mukhang pupunta ang buong clan namen. so sad, wala na si papa. oh well, we're trying to live with the fact that he's physically gone forever. sabi ko nga, "
death is not something you get over with, you just learn how to live with it.." because, when you say you're "over it" it's just like saying that you're able to forget the deceased & everything the person has done or has been and go on with your life only paying them the respect they deserve when you feel you have the strength to look stare at their tombstones while silently sending them your prayers. but when you say you're living with it, you're enduring the fact that, though they're gone, you're still willing and able to be strong enough to comemorate the dead. hmmm my old man's gone. no gramps to spoil my child. :(
--rapsa news--
i don't know how to react, really. just because i'm a girl doesn't mean i can tolerate the fact that ava cheated on jay..tsk tsk i was expecting future beach trips with her and the gang. so the sariaya quezon trip was our first and last na pla.. i guess i'll be rambling with the boys then. being that far from your boyfriend is hell. not just "painful" but hell. so knowing the fact that you're both building a future and the guy's working his ass off (or even cleaning someone else's ass) is reason enough to be strong and loyal at the very least. of course there's that never-ending pinch of conscience to help you out in your lowest hours. when you're itching to meet other guys to fill in for the cold nights, or thinking of having coffee with the hunk your crushing on. baby, it's up to you. but stick it to your mind that your guy friends (who happens to be your bf's hiskul barkada) are gonna bash you big time and bash you again during a party once your "ex" comes home.
0 lurVes..
? me
9/04/2007
? Monday, September 03, 2007
i've known myself to forget words and lose them conveniently when i need them. i read my former blog entries and i wonder if i really wrote them. gaddameht. i'm in my room too much. i get lost in powerbooks so often i decided to fuc* the hell off and stay put. there should be signs all over the place pointing lost readers to the right books, only, the reader i.e, I can only see them. i wish they could possibly exist. my eyes get red and stingy in minutes so looking real hard for ideal books or any must-reads is a challenge. i've stayed away too long it's not good anymore. there goes the saying; "use it or lose it". my old books turned into distant strangers, if only the authors could speak from their picture boxes they would tell me to snap out of it and get the hell out of my house, see the world as i did before or may be re-visit long lost alter egoes.
Labels: books
0 lurVes..
? me
9/03/2007
?
yes. it's hard to get along with someone who doesn't live in the same world you live in. it's like we don't even exist in the same dimension. but then you realize, when you're in a daze, you go panting helplessly w/o him...
yesterday we went out. it's baby's first day out! hehe it's been eons since my last visit at ATC, so i was in an "awe" kind of state. yes dun nag-shoot ang " a love story".. funny we just watched it the night before. imagine the love scene of aga muhlach and maricel soriano. i respect her and all, but come on ebet and i can hardly keep our eyes open during their bed scenes. we were like "aaaaaagh!!" the whole time. the whole friggin time. hehehe oh well, it's the price we have to pay for watching the movie..hahahaha something's pestering me. i mean "someone". there's this guy i met way back, years before we met face to face he was texting me or contacting me at myspace. i was still single back then. after some time we lost touch & i fell in love with my current hubby. i got in at teleperformace and remembered that "he" also works in a call center. i stumbled at his number & asked away. we then found out that we were working in the same company, same bldg of course, but he wasn't an agent. he's part of the mission control department. i was already with gilbert at that time so no flirting took place. sure there were eating lunches (@ 2am) together, or messages on my station every now & then but i was only being a friend to him. i wasn't interested regardless of his seemingly good looks. there's already a buzz goin around with both our names on it but we didn't mind them. i didn't mind them. until i decided to stay away from him. he kept texting me, finding out my schedule was a cinge for him because he's one of the people who has access to see or change work schedules. since the stress of the job was getting to me, the school works were piling up, & my colds never left me, i decided to leave the company. after a year or so, thanks to friendster (ugh!!), he found me. i'm not saying he's so into me, it's just that it's a bit of an awe for someone who ( as i discovered) was already attached when he insisted on seeing me during the wee hours way back. as the story goes, i found out he already had a gf then. good thing i'm not the kind of person who can idiotically fell for a boobie trap. nobody can stupify me all that easy. i never nudged him since. that is, until now. he's online at this very moment. said he & his gf broke up just last night.. "so??" , i said to myself. he's being a jerk, no surprise here. he knows i have a baby already. i'm sure i'm not insinuating anything for him to get the idea that i'm interested, so why is it that he's inkling me to view his webcam. he is asking for something sick & twisted. asshole. i declined. he's beginning to creep me out.
i'm sore at my hubby but it's no reason to screw up. nothing is heavy enough to weigh off my bond with gilbert & my baby. it's a pity. i actually thought that by trying to talk things out with the creep, he could actually be a good friend or gent at the very least. i thought wrong. i'm lucky gilbert's different. i'm lucky we're already together when i met the creep.
0 lurVes..
? me
9/03/2007
what the f**k?? it's funny..hehehe i'm sure lots of paris hilton haters would love this one. :)
