huh? when i'm suppose to be cuddling with someone i loved for three whole years.

yes. it's our 3rd year anniversary today {november 28th, 2007}, and where am i? at home. yes, not with him! it just sucks that he can't come for me. i don't rant because of his work, it's one of those given things, you know, those things which aren't supposed to be the wicker of a fight. but here i am, hurting. i feel so bad. i mean if you really want something to push through you'll be overly excited about it you wont let any-effing-thing get in the way of whatsoever! *sigh* i guess we're just too different.. someone once said; "if you feel like giving up, think of the reason why you held on so long.." but what if everything just added up so fast you can't force yourself to be sincerely happy anymore? i mean, it's not the first time i was left at the bottom of his list. i'm just getting fed up. enough already. is it so selfish you should be burned in hell? my consistent answer would be- no.

i had my haircut today. it's my alcohol alternative these days. a pick-me-upper at the very least. i'm still planning on getting wasted with zoraya. i need to be in my comfort zone. haven't been for the past 2 years.. i son't understand why i'm not piggin out lately, it just surprises me a lot. i'm so saaaaad.