haay.. i am just plain tired of everything. yet it's too unfair for someone innocent to suffer the after-shock of frustrating imperfections.

penguin and i...we're on the rocks. it's difficult for me to admit that really but since i stand for realness and not for facades i say things as they are. heaven & hell, we are. all the protruding issues are just getting out of hand and the worst crap is i end up as the meanie or the bad guy. i hate it. so hopeless as i am i submit to that human weakness, i've been adamant about being judgmental. it's a sickness, a human tendency and it's infectious. but somehow some people fail to see its real meaning. they tend to do it consciously or unconsciously, sometimes out of taking sides or out of insecurities. no matter who or what you are, there's always gonna be that someone who feels less than you are and is irritated by you even if you do nothing to that person {because sometimes you don't even know that such person exists}. just remember to shrug it off, let it roll off your back. it isn't something to be weary about.

as of relationships. let's give a toast to those who are married for conjugal years and are sticking to each other no matter what. let's commend them for such hardwork. compensation has no monetary value but the fruit of their labor shows they deserve the utmost respect.

it's hard to presume things about other people. if you think about it, the same goes with presuming things about yourself. we don't know ourselves a hundred percent, so what's the deal with the ever annoying quest to critique people's personal lives and their personal relationships? it's funny, Isaac Asimov, a writer and chemist said ; "those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance of those of us who do" i totally agree with him w/o batting an eyelash! i'm not saying i know everything about anything, but come on, kung ingay ang produkto ng mga mapagmarunong nuissance sila sa buhay ng mga taong pinagmamarunungan nila. sana lang wag magmaganda dahil wala pa sa kalingkingan ng life experiences ko ang mga nangyari sa buhay mo at sa maliit mong mundo. oh well, walang taong perpekto.

ang pagbabago ay mahirap pero posible. personally, marami na kong nabago sa aking sarili at tunay kong mapagmamalaki ang mga 'yon. kaya nagtataka talaga ako kapag ang pangakong magbago or mag-improve for the better ay napaka-imposible para sa iba ngunit ang magbago in a negative way ay nagagawa in a snap. again, walang taong perpekto.

anyway, i know things will be better and okay between us, not just because it has to but because, as it always has - it will.. :)

naalala ko ang sinabi dati ng pari isang beses nung umatend ako ng misa - "sa dalawang indibidwal, kapag pinakialamanan mo na ang ugali magaaway at magaaway kayo.." at ngayon it has become handy to me. a tip in my pocket kumbaga. it doesn't suggest that you never change for your partner, it only tells you to be mindful of your controls. once you enter into a relationship, you enter into an intangible contract and you must know by heart your obligations and rights. understood na un. implied na that you have to adjust to your boyfriend or girlfriend, anyone who has experienced rocketting relationships can attest to this but only those who are mature enough can truly understand and live it. it's a reality. it's a challenge. it sucks. (but it works!)

hanggang ngayon, nabibilang parin sa paniniwala ko na ang langit mo ay siya ring impyerno mo.. kung sino ang nagpapaligaya syo siya rin ang nagdudulot ng depresyon sayo, at kung sino ang bumubuo syo, ay siya ring sumisira syo..

kaya habang petty palang ang pinag- jijinartihan nyo eh ienjoy nio na. dahil kapag kayong dalawa ang itinadhana, hala ka, maghanda ka na. you're in for a ride.. hehe